First and foremost, it is necessary to give yourself a minute to feel sad, hurt, upset and angry. I certainly felt this way. The first few days after being fired, I would cry feeling so sad that the one guy I thought was a stand-up person actually wasn’t who I thought he was. I felt used and hurt. Anytime you suffer disappointment, change, let down and hurt you can expect to struggle but you can also expect to have a stronger comeback if you set yourself up to rebound.
What I have found through my experience is it is really helpful to write down how you are doing each day. When you set a goal for yourself to lose weight you weigh yourself each day to keep yourself on track and keep up with your progress. This is no different with getting over your challenging situation, by tracking how you feel each day you are taking your temperature and giving yourself the insight to know that you are getting better even if you don’t see it yet. Fast forward another month and the insight you will glean from your notes will empower you in ways you can’t imagine. Right down how you feel, what your fears are and what actions you take each day and use this as your roadmap to building your strength.
Write out a 30-day plan. I like to look at a 30-day plan as broken up into 4 weeks. Each week I have certain things I want to accomplish and each week helps me to get to my ultimate monthly goal. Looking at it in writing on my computer or on print really makes it visual and real. Crossing the days off helps too. As you cross each day off you see yourself getting closer to your goal of feeling better. Your feelings can be all over the map but when you follow the steps they will get better. I look back now at my first month after being fired and I had no idea how many fantastic things were going to show up in my life. You aren’t able to connect the dots looking forward that is only something that you can do when you look back. Have faith that there will be positive change for you in the weeks to come. This insight gives me hope for tomorrow and next month too.
Identifying another time in life when you have been hurt helps! I like to go back to my divorce journal to see where I was at different times and how I progressed and eventually moved beyond the upset and hurt. You gain strength by viewing your past struggles and knowing that you were able to beat those let downs and you will beat this one too. Today, when I look at my initial notes on my first month of unemployment I see that I was frozen when it came to writing my new Linkedin profile, it seems simple now but then I can see that is was a massive hurdle. Realizing that it actually never was a massive hurdle just something I had built up in my mind helps me today to shift perspective in regards to other hurdles that are ahead of me.
Shifting your perspective to one of gratitude will help you to accelerate your goal of feeling better. Every morning when you wake up writing down three things that you are grateful for will absolutely shift your perspective from one of negativity to one of abundance. You can write about your children, your friends, your health, your good hair day or the beautiful flower that you saw on the way to your car. There is always beauty around us and plenty to feel grateful for in any moment.
Songs, smells, walking, exercise, getting outside, walking in the sand or grass, separating from technology, meditating, spending time with those that you love, finding out what things make you feel good and making time for them is key. The more time you spend doing things that make you feel happy the happier you will feel. Your emotions will be much like a roller coaster going through difficult times and working to find ways to make you feel better is time well spent.
Sharing what happened to you with others is huge. You will be shocked how many people want to help you and want to be there for you if you simply ask and share. That is always such a pleasant surprise but you don’t give people that chance if you don’t share your truths. After being fired I posted about the unexpected termination on social media, many people thought that was crazy but letting everyone in my network know that I was fired brought on an onslaught of support. This was amazing to me. The opportunities that were brought to me as a result of this one action changed my situation. The Elvis Duran show saw the post and reached out to me, had I not posted, I would have never been on the show and reached so many people with my message of overcoming adversity. The universe has a funny way of working things out for you exactly the way you need.
Find the blessing in the situation. For me getting fired was like a gut punch what is the blessing is how calm and stress free I have felt following it. I am seeing things I didn’t see before. I am not rushing my son or my fiancé I am happy to wake up every day and instead of focusing on what I have to do I am focusing on doing what makes me happy. I have also been able to see what an amazing partner I have, previously I wasn’t one to lean on others much, in this situation I have leaned more than ever and I am so happy to say that I have found my fiancé has blown me away with support. I would have never been able to appreciate him as much as I do now if I hadn’t lost my job.
Living in the present. In any moment, we can get ahead of ourselves and we can begin to focus on the future and feel anxiety around what could or what may not happen. Instead bring yourself back to today and realize all that we have is in this moment and this is exactly where we need to be. When everything is uncertain, anything is possible.
Manifest the future that you want. The one thing you can certainly do is start to use the words that embody the future that you want, use the visuals to make it that much more real and write it down so you can see it. Create the life you want by creating the thoughts that will deliver you the future you are after. Spend some quiet time seeing yourself where you ultimately want to be and feeling how you will feel, then watch the universe rise up to help you get there.
Taking a step back and looking at what your former goals were and how we can redirect and modify them with this new opportunity is key.
Take a moment to think about what you truly enjoy. What are you meant to be doing? How could this incident be redirecting you to your more real, authentic you and life that the universe wants for you?
Make yourself your number one priority. Regardless of what was happening before starting today you are your number one priority and there are no excuses. You are the one going thru what you are going thru and you are the one that is going to improve your life as a result of it. It begins with putting you first. The oxygen masks that drops from the airplane is meant for you first so you can survive to help others. Start your survival strategy today and put you first.
Notice what is happening around you and be open to the signs. When you really begin to breathe and be open to it you will see what you need to know right in front of you. And when all else fails remember that this is temporary. Life is like a wave and there will be times where you are riding high and times when you come crashing down the key is to remember things will go back up again.