2. What Does The Heather Monahan Brand Represent?

The Heather Monahan brand represents being unique by being you. It represents coming from nothing and overcoming hurdles and falling down and struggling and still moving forward. It represents the woman who has struggled and who has wanted to overcome those struggles by putting a voice and a plan and network to her strife’s. It is representative of any woman being whatever it is she wants to be because she can. By finding your own unique superpower that resides within you, you can make the world a better place. This is a brand built by women – for women.

3. What’s The Most Important Advice You Can Give To Women Starting Out In Their Career?

There are so many things that I would like to speak to, but to give only one piece of advice, I would have to think back to when I was starting out… I let making money be my sole goal. I did so because I didn’t have any and I knew I wanted some. In that ambition, I lost sight of the things that I liked to do. I didn’t understand back then that you should find out what your passions and loves are first and then pursue those, because if you do that you will find success. Instead I set out to find what would make me money quickly and that does not have a happy ending. I spent years trying to redirect myself to find my passion and true purpose for my self and my career. So, my advice is start off in the right direction with your passions in mind, and you will create a more seamless, peaceful path in life. Don’t fight them or your talents, or you won’t have a happy ending either.

4. Can You Name A Person Who Has Had A Tremendous Impact On You As A Leader?

I cannot name one person, as there has been a plethora of amazing people that have impacted my life. Admittedly, however, I used to get caught up with i.e. I can’t learn from my mom because she never made any real money, or I cant learn from my first boss because he was a slave driver and treated people poorly. What I finally learned is that you can take something from everyone. From my mom, I can now see that she was so desperate to provide for 4 children on her own that she worked 3 jobs and sacrificed her 30s and 40s to give to us. That is pretty amazing. My first boss taught me passion for work and never ending commitment to succeed, while simultaneously teaching me that people leave people that do not treat them well. No matter how smart, passionate and talented he was, people would always leave him. As I grew older, I found my self elevating my standards and working with people that treated me better and looked to help and advise me on my path to success. There have been too many to detail here, but I can promise you that without these amazing, supportive people, I would not be where I am today. Bottom line is – you can – and should learn something from everyone.   Look inside you to see how people affect you and why. Learn who you want to be by watching others.

5. What’s Your One Favorite Motivational Quote And Why?

Fear is a Liar. Whenever I’ve stopped myself from doing something in my life it has been because I have been afraid. What I continue to learn in life is that fear is a liar. It is not real. It is something that you or I have created in our heads in our own little world. It doesn’t exist. When you instead use that fear to fuel you forward, anything can happen. Now when I feel fear, I say to myself, it is time to go faster. It’s working.

6. How Would You Describe Yourself In One Word?

Special, but then again everyone is 😃

7. How Would You Describe The Essence Of Your Brand In 3 Words?

Powerful, transparent, supportive

8. Name 3 Words That Have Helped You Get To Where You Are Today?

Connection, support, self-awareness

9. What Are The Most Important Decisions That You Make As A Leader?

The people I choose and hire to be on my team

10. What Are The 3 Things That You Need To Do Before Getting Into The Office?

Kiss my son and wish him a great day, work out, and have a daily plan

11. Name A Time You Almost Gave Up – What Did You Do Instead Of Giving Up?

I almost gave up 100 times before launching this brand because of my fear of failure and countless other excuses to protect myself from haters. But, instead of giving up, I am going faster.

12. Have You Had Any Struggles In Reaching Gender Equality?

Are you kidding me? Of course I have. And, this inequality includes being sexually harassed at work, having others chalk up my success to the way I look, and also includes a vast pay difference between my male counterparts and me.

13. What Do You Think Is The Most Significant Barrier To Female Leadership?

Women not having the confidence to move thru their fear and go for it. Feeling to responsible and concerned with everyone else.

14. What Will Be The Biggest Challenge For The Generation Behind You?

That is unknown right now, but I am hopeful that there will be less of a challenge for the women of tomorrow with the groundwork that the women of today have laid for them.

15. What Do You Think Of Social Media? Best And Worst Parts Of It?

I think social media is amazing for the amount of reach it allows for. It has created a platform for people to share positive messages and personal stories of inspiration, as well as it has created the opportunity for a feeling of community at a much larger scale. The down side to this is that it has also created a larger reach for bullying, negativity and haters, which is never good. The importance is staying focused on the positive, surrounding yourself with good people and realizing that the haters hating is about them and not you. If you can do that, there isn’t a downside.

16. Do You Follow Any Popular Social Media Accounts And Why?

Of Course! I adore fashion and pop culture. So, I follow E! News and I even follow the Kardashians. I love to see what is happening and trending in the media and see that no matter who someone is, there are good days and bad, supporters and haters – and it puts us all on a level playing field.

17. What Advice Can You Give Young Girls Getting Into Business?

When your gut tells you to speak up, when you have an idea and you are afraid it may not resonate with others – SPEAK UP at all costs. Scare yourself daily with putting yourself out there – this is how you will grow, advance, bring attention and build confidence. Do not let others disrespect you. Build boundaries with negative people and do all you can to work and surround yourself with good people when you have a choice in the matter.

18. What Do You Do On Your Own Down Time To Help Balance Your Career?

Working out for me is cathartic and I cannot get through a week without it playing a primary role in my routine or I could lose my sanity. Meditation is something I have been trying to incorporate as well to help me stay calm and focused. Spending time with my son and my friends brings me so much joy. Getting to go to the beach and be outside with people I love makes my life amazing.

19. On A More Serious Note, What’s Your Superpower Or Spirit Animal?

I love this question! I recently gave a talk about finding your superpower. I am so lucky that I have a few! I have found that my superpower is my ability to connect with others quickly, elevate those around me and push through obstacles no matter how large. That’s my short answer and I’m sticking to it!

The post What Inspired You To Take This New Journey To Create Your Personal Brand? appeared first on Heather Monahan.

I have pumped gas thousands of times in my life and this time, like so many others, I left my keys, wallet and phone on the center console of my SUV. I shut all of the doors, as my son was in the back seat and I proceeded to put my credit card into the pump and start entering my information to turn the fuel on. As I was doing this, I was not paying attention to what was happening on the other side of my vehicle. I was paying attention to the pump and thinking about the rest of our day. This was a big mistake. While I was occupied on the passenger side of my vehicle, a criminal had silently crept his vehicle alongside my driver’s side door, opened it ever so quietly, and jumped in and grabbed my wallet and phone.

Luckily, this criminal did not drive off with my car, or my son in the vehicle. A few moments later though, my son jumped out of my vehicle screaming that we had been robbed. I learned a number of things that day. The most important thing I learned is that as long as your loved ones are safe, everything is going to be okay. (I really struggled with the idea that my son could have been gone from my life in one instant).

Here are the key takeaways that I have learned in hopes that it will save another mother from going through a frightening experience like this:

1. First, make sure you have your iPhone set up on Find Your iPhone. When you have this set up and turned on through your computer, the police can track the whereabouts of your phone and locate the perpetrator.
2. Next, make sure you turn off the child locks in your car if your child is over the age of three. My son is nine and the fact that I had the child locks turned on made him unable to jump out of the car when the criminal entered the vehicle. Luckily, my son hid in the back seat and did not say a word, which ended up yielding him safe.
3. After having gone through this experience, I would suggest not taking kids to the gas station with you if you are the only adult in the car. The police let me know that poachers sit and wait at gas stations to rob people, typically single women as they pump gas into their cars. It is not worth the scare, so if you can find time to go to the gas station when your child is not with you, do it.
4. Another tip I learned from the police is to always lock your car doors with your key in hand while you are pumping gas. Makes all the sense in the world, but it never crossed my mind before.
5. The Police also taught us to always try to memorize the make, model and license plate of a criminal’s vehicle if you find yourself in a situation where there is trouble. By staying silent and capturing this information you can help the police do their job and apprehend the perpetrator.

What To Do When You’re Home From The Crime Scene

Once we had left the gas station, we headed home to meet the police and luckily I had someone call to begin cancelling all of my credit cards.

1. Keep a current list of all of your active credit cards and having a back up form of ID is critical in situations like this.
2. This was the first time I felt disappointed that I haven’t bought my son a cell phone. Not having an additional cell phone handy made it very difficult until I got my replacement phone.
3. Lastly, buyer beware: if you go to the Apple store and ask to buy a phone, you have to pay the whole retail fee vs. calling your phone provider, filing out the proper paperwork and getting a replacement phone shipped to you for a small fee. The only challenge with this is you may find yourself without a phone for a few days, which is headache to say the least.

Again, my biggest takeaway from this whole experience is that your whole life can change in an instant. Never take for granted your loved ones and don’t assume that everyone in the world has good intentions just because you do. Caring for our kids and keeping them safe needs to be a top priority. I am so grateful I still have the chance to do that for mine.

The good news is my son has had the chance to see how the Police can help and protect us when we are in need. He also had the opportunity to learn what to do if faced with a criminal again, and while I am hoping that never ever happens, we will be better prepared for the future in case it does.

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Over the years, I have seen friends excel in their careers and forgo relationships and babies, I have seen friends get married and dedicate their life to their families and I have seen friends be left by husbands, or in some cases find the loves of their lives when they turn 40. At the end of the day, what has become very obvious to me is that you need to make you happy and lead the life you want to lead because you can’t plan and dictate your future.

Having been lucky enough to experience so much through my life and through those close to me, it has become very apparent that the people I know that take responsibility for their health and happiness first and foremost, are the ones that end up winning in the game of life. By taking responsibility for where you are and who you are, you simply empower yourself. Being in an empowering situation is always a great place to be. When you are empowered, you can change your course if you so choose. When you are empowered, you alone can affect your next move and your future. And, when you are empowered you don’t need to point to others or torture yourself with wondering ‘what if?’ The moment you realize that you alone are the only one getting in your way, is the moment you truly empower yourself to lead the life that you want to live. I find that incredibly liberating.

Recently, I got the opportunity to spend some time with a great friend who just got divorced. She’s feeling scared, lost and down. All normal feelings after losing the hope that you would be married forever. What I have witnessed, however, is how much stronger she is becoming as a result of the divorce. For the first time in a long time, she is pursuing her own interests and traveling and spending time with friends instead of focusing on her husband. While she may not see it yet, she is liberating herself, and by turning her focus onto herself – instead of someone else – she is moving into a better place.

I also have another great friend who has been happily married for 20 years and she reminds me to pursue my life and my passions and not to lose sight of them. She continues to work even though she doesn’t have to, and she credits much of her success in marriage to not giving up on her career and her life outside of her husband and kids. While we all know what a juggle life can be when you have kids and work, it is still so important to continue to do the things that make you feel fulfilled. I used to think people that put themselves first were selfish, now I see that they are confident and strong. The better we take care of ourselves the better we will be able to take care of others and enjoy our lives.

What makes you happy? What are your passions? If you knew that the world was going to end, what is it that you would do differently today? The minute we begin to lead our lives acting on these answers is the minute our lives will improve and good things come to us. Every day is a chance to meet someone new, try something different and put joy into our lives and others. Whether you are single, married, divorced or otherwise, I hope you will see that those labels are just that, labels. It is up to you and only you to create a life you want to live. It also just so happens that when you do this, you forget about all of those pressures and preconceived notions and often that’s when that special someone can come into your life. This is true for any day, but especially helpful to remember during the holidays. Cheers to you living the life you choose!

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Are You Hater Bait Or Not?

Essentially, the lower profile you keep and the more ‘go with the flow’ you are, the more you hide yourself from the haters glaring eye. If you decide to take this route to ward them off, read no further.

Otherwise, the problem with this is that the more you hide yourself from the haters, the more you essentially hide yourself from you. The downside to keeping a status quo life is that you are never really growing, challenging yourself, innovating, or putting yourself out there in a new way.

Remember this: The biggest growth experiences arise when you take fear head on and don’t back away, but instead push through. These moments are never easy and you will be confronted with so much resistance, but once you’re on the other side you will be able to find clarity and strength, which will continue to propel you forward to things you could have never imaged before.

Why Haters Gonna’ Hate

Haters typically hate you for one of three reasons

• They see you as a threat
• They hate themselves
• They want to be you

Lose Your Fear of Being Hate Bait

Until you come to a point in your life where you decide to confront fear and uncertainly – and potential haters with abandonment – you will never truly reach your potential or your calling.

Remember this: It is better to be hated for who you are – than to be loved for what you are not.

Take Haters Head On

1. Address haters in your personal life head on – or find a way to cut them out of your life.
2. Do not give haters power over you – which means ignore them. Never respond to haters on social media. That is giving them your attention and your time, which they do not deserve.
3. Avoid taking Haters personally – do not let a hater create self-doubt for you, as that is their goal. They are unhappy with themselves and jealous of you for some reason, but don’t take that same insecurity on.
4. Keep yourself distant from haters physically and emotionally – surround yourself with positive people that support and encourage you, they will always drown out the voices of haters.
5. Set boundaries for yourself and don’t ever let a hater cross the line – when you have a hater in your day-to-day life, have a direct conversation with them about not wanting negativity and hatred in your life and try to find a solution, even if that means removing that person from your life. Your mental health is worth so much more than allowing a hater to impose on your life.
6. Prioritize yourself and put yourself first – haters can come way after that regardless of who they are in your life. Take care of you.
7. When haters come, don’t take it as a sign that something is wrong; take it as a sign that you are doing something right! If everyone loved you, you wouldn’t be evolving, growing or innovating and that is something to be afraid of.

Don’t Be A Hater Yourself

Lastly, if you stand on the riverbank long enough, you will see all of your haters float by. Keep doing the right thing, be true to yourself and be good to others and karma will take care of the rest.

Remember this:
You will face your greatest opposition when you are closest to your biggest miracle.
― Shannon L. Alder

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This was an easy one for me to respond to, “It takes a lot of work and pushing and not giving up, and fighting and not backing down. It takes being a pitbull basically.” When I shared this concept with her, she said, “That’s hard to do, because most women don’t want to appear bitchy.”

Loosen Your Own Leash

This conversation struck a chord in me. Here this woman is bright, beautiful, talented and interested in advancing. And, while I don’t know what level she will rise to, I do know that what WON’T hold her back is her talent. This woman has everything it takes to get ahead. Yet, the only thing that could potentially hold her back is she herself.

Her decision to not want to appear a certain way, bitchy or otherwise, would be her only leash. She made another great comment to me that really resonated with me; she mentioned that when she moved into her new role – one that she did not have previous experience in – she felt like a fraud. In fact, she felt so much like a fraud that she let her husband know that she had a Plan B in line in case they discovered that she was not qualified for the job.

I Feel Like A Fraud

I find this interesting as this “fraud” epidemic has been admittedly alive and well in me throughout fleeting moments in my career. But, while it’s a trait that I’ve seen so often in women, I have YET to see it in a man.

Quite to the contrary, the men I work with feel the opposite way. If I’m interviewing a man on my team and he wants to advance without prior experience, he will simply use his prior success as the catalyst to determine that he WILL succeed in his new role. There is no big leap in his mind, it is a natural progression along his path to future success.

My Secret Is Out

Women often times don’t see this natural progression and instead feel afraid of being “found out.” Found out that they are not perfect, found out that they have commitments at home to their families, found out that they simply don’t have all the answers.

Conversely, I meet with men on my team that cant wait to share with me that they leave work early to coach their kid’s team and how it benefits the company because their “coaching” techniques are refined on the field and applied back in the workplace.

Let’s Put Things Into Perspective

Everything about how we approach things is in the perspective that we take and the lens in which we see things through. By making a definitive decision to no longer accept the idea that we are a fraud, but instead find a lens to look through that allows us to celebrate our unique and refreshing approach and skills instead, we will finally end this epidemic of holding ourselves back.

So, yes, I have been one of the “frauds” at different times in my career, but the difference with me is that I have been lucky enough to stop myself in that moment and reach out to someone in my life to remind me how I can see myself differently. Perspective is everything. And settling for a perspective that the opposite sex would never even consider is the fastest way to short-change ourselves professionally.

Let Us Be Frauds No More

Let us be “frauds no more” is my new mantra for the female faction. Let us embrace a refreshing new perspective, even if it’s sprinkled with a touch of testosterone here and there. Let us celebrate what is different and unique about us, and what makes us worthy of the opportunity in the first place. We rule the roost with no qualms, we learn as we go, we make executive decisions that are steadfast; this is life. No one knows everything. So, let’s be frauds no more with our careers and in the boardroom.

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Building self esteem is a skill that anyone can learn. Think of confidence as a muscle: When we work it, it only gets stronger and more defined.  Once you improve your self confidence, you’ll be amazed at what you can do!

Tip 10: Help Others, Help Yourself.

There is a funny little trick that boosts your confidence quickly: helping other people. It doesn’t have to be a big thing; it can be something small like helping an elderly person lift a bag or helping a child get up when they fall. These acts help put things in perspective for you. You realize that no matter where you are, you are capable of bringing value to others. That is a powerful moment! This means that you are in a position to help others. Others needed you and you showed up and delivered. There is a lot to feel good about there.

If you are feeling low in confidence, find someone in your world and help them. Ask them how they are doing with their divorce. Listen to them. They will thank you. Ask them if you can help them practice for their big speech, and they will appreciate you. Ask them if you can bring their child to work for a day to shadow you since they are always worried that their child will not get a job. They will adore you! Show up at a charity event and lend a hand; hold the door for the elderly lady—she will be so grateful. 

Confidence is always available right in front of us if we choose to go after it. Work the confidence muscle daily and watch what happens. You will feel good about yourself…and you should!

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Building self worth is a skill that anyone can learn. Think of confidence as a muscle: When we work it, it only gets stronger and more defined.  Once you improve your self confidence, you’ll notice that your overall outlook is improved, as well.

Tip 9: Fake It ’Til You Make It.

We’ve all heard this standby, and it works.  If you stand up tall, make eye contact, deliberately shake people’s hands and smile, you enter a room with what appears to be confidence.  Whether you have it or not in this moment is irrelevant; the important thing is that it appears that you do.

People treat you differently when they think that you are confident. Many times, men are asked to take an advanced role which they may have no experience in and they jump at the chance.  Usually, women will talk about not having prior experience in that role. In my life, I have always said I can do it and figured it out later. That tactic has never failed me in my personal life or at work.  If there is a challenge or opportunity that I am interested in, I go for it—even when I don’t have the confidence that I can do it. The confidence follows when I start making it work.  It is almost backwards logic, but I promise you that it works!

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Building self esteem is a skill that anyone can learn. Think of confidence as a muscle: When we work it, it only gets stronger and more defined.  Once you improve your self confidence, you’ll see things improve in all areas of your life.

Tip 8: Practice and Prepare.

Practice and preparation are two ways to build your confidence muscle. Just like working out at the gym, we need to train many days a week to get results; this is no different. To grow your confidence, you need to put yourself in the best situations for success. That usually means researching, practicing and preparing for whatever it is that you are trying to do. If it is for a work task, preparing at home the night before will boost your confidence in the meeting the next day. If it is for a social situation, then reading the best conversation starters and trending hot topics will help you feel better prepared. 

Whatever the situation, if you prepare for it and practice, you will feel much more confident going into it. Then, the outcome is just the outcome, but you’ll know you did all that you could do! Practice and preparation build the confidence muscle quickly.

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Building self esteem is a skill that anyone can learn. Think of confidence as a muscle: When we work it, it only gets stronger and more defined.  Once you improve your self confidence, you can tackle whatever life throws at you.

Tip 7: Write Down Reminders of Your Strengths.

My son has taught me a lot about confidence in the past eight years. One lesson he gave me recently was when his basketball team made it to the finals. He asked me if I could write on his game sneakers with a Sharpie.  I said, “Sure!” but didn’t understand why. 

He had me write on each shoe, “I can do all things.” I asked him why he wanted me to write this, and he explained that no matter how good you are and no matter how much you practice, everyone can forget once in a while; it makes all the difference to give yourself a little reminder like this for that moment when you need it. 

Give yourself reminders. Write on your shoes, leave yourself notes and do the same for others and your confidence will continue to build.

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Building self esteem is a skill that anyone can learn. Think of confidence as a muscle: When we flex it, it only gets stronger and more defined.  Let’s help you improve your self confidence so you can have the personal and professional successes you’ve been dreaming about.

Tip 6: No One Is Perfect, So You Don’t Have to Be, Either.

No one is perfect. There is nothing more true. My shrink taught me this years ago! If you find someone that is trying to promote themselves as perfect, RUN. Those are the least confident, most insecure people.

What I have learned in turning 40 is that people who put up a front have a lot to hide. By letting the world see your flaws and imperfections, you boost your confidence and accept yourself and draw others closer to you.  I thought that I was really nailing this until 2 weeks ago when my son had a wart on his thumb. We covered it with a special medicinal band-aid and changed it each night. It was improving remarkably well. Then one night, I asked him to pull the band-aid off so I could go and get a new one and he said,  “No! Wait until you are ready to switch it. It’s so awful to look at that I can’t bring myself to see it.”  This broke my heart.  Apparently, I must not be that accepting of myself and my flaws, and he is emulating that.

This only furthers my point that we are all flawed and the beauty is in getting to a place where you can appreciate them. My son is teaching me every day.  #workinprogress

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